Take, Toss, Store Away

I’ve been slowly packing away our belongings and sorting through our mess of 3 years together as husband and wife, plus the life long keepsakes we’ve accumulated as individuals. I have 3 piles: take, toss, store away.

Purging and sorting is especially fun to me – when there’s not a toddler coming in and destroying the order and replacing it with chaos. Any mother who has moved with a toddler can relate to the agonizing feelings of seeing your system shattered and hours of work lost.

Now that our plans are finally coming to fruition and we are set on a rigorous course, I still feel a bit lost, tossing things away, sorting between what’s necessary, what’s not, and what we have to store for a later time.

College memorabilia, tiny baby clothes, furniture we purchased off facebook marketplace as a place saver until we can purchase our first house. All of these things have varied levels of attachment as we sort them in their proper places. I think between two different story lines of how our life could have played out: one being the reality of our next adventure, and the other of what settling down would have looked like.

After turning 25, James and I both realized how looming the big 30 is, and what leaving our 20’s will bring. We watch as a lot of our friends are buying their first houses, driving mini-vans, getting pets, on baby #2 or #3, and here we are, putting our home on hold for a good many years, putting our furniture back on facebook marketplace, and letting those dreams of settling down get stored away.

I often brush off these feelings of longing for the stability of a permanent job and a home to raise those dozen kids in a June Cleaver state of order and perfection. Sometimes friends will talk with me about their home projects or where they are at in regards to saving for a down payment, and while I would love to share in those experiences, I know we cannot.

At times this inability to share in those experiences feels like a little death to self. In fact, during Lent, I joked that I was giving up all stability for the next two years. (Don’t worry, our situation is by no means that dramatic… but I am.)

I know in my heart that this is the course we are set upon and it’s the right one. I know that every big and little sacrifice is a gift for our family, and every dream put on hold isn’t put on hold forever. Just as on Easter, there will be a resurrection and it will brighter and joyful after the trials of Lent.

We are taking, tossing, and storing away for later. I know the things we store away will be pulled out with greater joy and celebration when the time is right. I know our dreams will be bigger and much more attainable when we put in these next years of work. I know our family will be stronger for the sacrifice.

For now in this time, I will try to toss away the comparison, store away the dreams, and the rest will move along with us during these next transitions. In time, God will bring all things to fruition.

God has made everything appropriate to its time, but has put the timeless

into their hearts so they cannot find out, from beginning to end, the work which God has done.

I recognized that there is nothing better than to rejoice and to do well during life.

Ecclesiastes 3:11-12